Cohesive narrative is overrated. Also, I went to art school.

GOOD NEWS: The cannula of death has been removed for the last time, leaving both hands comprehensively and quite colorfully bruised but otherwise unharmed.

BAD NEWS: That's because after five days of twice daily injections, it doesn't actually appear to be WORKING, so I have some form of mysterious African fever virus rather than mysterious African fever bacteria. Which is nice to know but, really, I would just like it gone and that doesn't appear to currently be an option.

GOOD NEWS: The pump arrived from Dar es Salaam and is being installed, the pipes are in, and so it's just a matter of running out electricity until we have sweet, sweet water available all the time.

BAD NEWS:The cannula in my hand has prevented me from really teaching jewelry this week, so my students might not actually remember what I look like (hint: I'm the pale one).

GOOD NEWS: The old students and about seven new students are doing really well and producing a LOT of work, I just need to find some way to sell it without further overcommitting myself. So maybe that's bad news. Eh, whatever.

Sometimes I take pictures in black and white. That totally justifies thousands of dollars on art school.

Dreaming of a snowman.

WELL. It turns out that there was a serious miscommunication about the location of the primary tanks, which are a full kilometer from the well - SLIGHTLY problematic. So now instead of being a $2000 project, it's looking like a $6000 project, just to get the well we already have connected to the system and, you know, functional. Otherwise all we have is a very expensive hole in the ground. Sigh. I am meeting with the hospital officials today to try to work out a plan, but even in the best case scenario, I'm expecting about a $2000 deficit, and I simply don't know how we are going to fill it. We're appealing to various prior donors now, but I'm just exhausted and dispirited by the whole thing.

Between my co-sponsor backing out, the tripling of the cost, and a really frustratingly cold and oddly condescending reception from a big donor, yesterday was not going to well - and then I was running late for what should have been my first class back at Tamiha (more on that soon), and tried to get a taxi - only to be quoted completely and utterly outrageous prices, all due to the fact that I'm white. I ended up feeling so exhausted and taken advantage of that I broke down in tears in the Kilala bus stop - surrounded by about a hundred tough African motorcycle and taxi drivers WHO I HAVE TO SEE EVERY DAY - and just got into a cab and went HOME instead. I've been trying so hard to do everything right, and I'm feeling so discouraged and taken for granted - even though I know the important people, like the mamas at the orphanage and the hospital staff and administrators, don't take this project for granted at all. Between Rezeki last week and this, though, I'm feeling really helpless. Good intentions are very nice but they aren't going to help these babies - oh, and by the way, over 2/3s of them currently have malaria because the mosquito nets we have are filled with holes, and no one has had a chance to put up the new ones WE ACTUALLY HAVE. It's the same with so many donations, we are so utterly overwhelmed just keeping up with the day to day care of the kids that systemic changes just don't get enacted, a cycle I'm trying really hard to fight.

So then I got home, in tears, to find that I was (of course) locked out of my room because I'd left my keys in the lock for the chicken coop at Nkoaranga. Then I waited three hours for Christine to get home with the extra key, walked into my room ready to sink into bed and relax, turned on the light and... immediately, literally one to two seconds later, the power went off. For the rest of the night. No hot shower, no movies, no phone charging. The fever doesn't take a break, of course, the fever was there to keep me company, but seriously? Really, Africa?

And. On top of everything else, there have been some serious shakeups within the Tamiha structure - including some serious allegations against the legitimacy of the organization as a whole - and in particular, my roommate Christine has borne the brunt of what appears to be a completely nonsensical vilification, at least from my end. The moral of the story is that several programs seem to be falling apart, and integrity is being seriously questioned, and I have so very, very much to do over at Nkoaranga that I am desperately tempted to just run away and avoid the controversy entirely. Which, because I made a commitment to my students, who I care about deeply, is not something I can do, as much as I would like to. So I'm trying to get up the will to work on this project that I've been really drained of enthusiasm about, and I feel like there is a very large elephant sitting on my chest and I'm not sure how to get him to move. "Tafadhali kwenda, Tembo, kwasababu unaniumiza." Nope, asking politely didn't work.

Right now I'm fighting the desperate desire to go home. Not to STAY home - I want to be here for the next three months - just to, you know, teleport out of here for a week or two to regain my sanity. I know there are those of you who know this feeling well - my cousin Heather, who lived and taught in Hong Kong for three years, or my cousin Melanie, who regularly whirls around the world as part of her job working with children from conflict-torn areas. I would like to check out of my life for a few weeks and be back in America and not have to worry about the electricity, and be able to drink the water from the sink, and have this damn fever go away, and maybe make a snowman.

So there are my needs. A hug, a snowman, and $2000. Not so much to ask!

Some more good news, some more bad news, the steeper mountain

Alright, this past week has been beyond crazy so I apologize for the infrequent posting. Giulia and I have been in meetings all week with various hospital administrators and different drilling companies, trying to figure out how to get this project off the ground. In addition, and poignantly, the orphanage and hospital themselves are currently without water, which at LEAST doubles the workload of everyone working there - plus Mama Pendo is on holiday, visiting kids from  the orphanage currently enrolled in boarding school and now on vacation, and I have a billion things to do for Tamiha as well, which are sadly sitting on the back burner as I try to keep my head above water. So, first the bad news.

After speaking to various drilling companies, it appears that the well is going to be much more expensive than we originally thought. Because Nkoaranga is on a hill, the well will likely need to be at least 60 or 70 meters deep, maybe as much as a hundred. Even the best quotes we've gotten average about $90 USD per meter. Before we even know how deep the well will need to be, we have to comission a survey, which comes to about $500, even given the extensive discounts people have been willing to give us.

The good news: Giulia's amazing family and friends have come up with $5000 for the project, and I currently have about $3000 available - but we will almost certainly need closer to $10,000 to $12,000. Again, we might get lucky and only need to drill 700 meters, and then have money available for all the other projects - but we're not counting on it. The hospital is opening an independent account, that Guilia and I will be signatories for, exclusively for the drilling project. It is through the hospital (which funds the orphanage), which is a registered nonprofit, and therefore donations should be fully tax deductible - however, we have to figure out the details of the international aspect. Any tax experts out there? We are working on it!

Vaguely controlled chaos

Apart from that, we have two MORE new babies, bringing the grand total to six under the age of 6 months, four under one month. They are very, very, very small - I would bet that Rezeki is pretty severely premature, his face is very downy, and he also has a pretty nasty abscess on his arm that the hospital operated on yesterday. Poor little munchkin. The other kids are doing well - Zawadi tested positive for worms, which is, counterintuitively, a GOOD thing, because it explains why she is so little and it's easily treatable. Of course now we have to test the other babies... and really, I get enough interactionw ith poop as it is, I'm not thrilled to be signing up for more. Anyway, their health is clearly more important.

Other good news - TAMIHA received a huge donation of books from a project in America, and they are happy for us to take a bunch of them over to Nkoaranga for free, which helps a lot with financial stress on my end. We've also spent a lot of money in the last few weeks to buy new diapers, because when the water is out it gets incredibly difficult to keep up with the demand.

I miss home a lot sometimes, but I am honestly ridiculously happy here, I don't totally understand it - I love this work, and I guess at the end of the day that's what matters.

I know that it's the holidays, and you have a million demands on your time and money. But please consider whether this project is something you can help with. We're talking about drastically affecting the hygeine and survival rates of the thousands of poor Africans who use the hospital, about making the lives of these children and all of those who will come in after them - and there will always be more - infinitely safer, cleaner, and happier. Thank you for reading and caring -and a special shout out to Nikki and her kids, who sound wonderful - so glad you're enjoying reading!

All my love to you back home.

Rio Grande!

Just a quick post - MUCH MUCH more to come this afternoon - to say that Living Lukundane has been featured on Rio Grande's jewelry blog in a Thanksgiving post. Check it out

Thanksgiving Pt 1

Back from the neverending bus ride, Kindle is not cooperating, tired and sweaty and want to sleep for a month. I'll leave you with some pretty pictures in lieu of a full jewelry update for today - but it's coming, don't worry. Happy Thanksgiving - and there is nothing in the world I am more thankful for than my family, my health, and the support to be able to do this work. Except maybe being off that bus.

Rehema working hard

So much work, so little time!

Um, that's PEACE and love, sweetheart. 

Week one of jewelry classes!

So this is where I work, at the Lukundane center. This week I ran classes just for the girls in the vocational school (with the exception of Monday, when a large group of adult women wanted to take a class, and by take a class I mean have me make jewelry for them while they called me mzungu instead of my name. ANYWAY...) Starting next week, I'll have a group of "mamas" from the widows' microfinance groups as well. For this week, just Rachma, Rehema, Neema and Farida. Not that they didn't give me a run for my money...

Twist bracelets in brass and nickel silver and brass rings

Monday we did a tools and materials introduction, and then they each made a twist bracelet and a ring that they got to keep.

He makes a lovely model, right?

 Tuesday we made brass pendants with text on them and texturing details, and they all chose to make hearts, except Rachma (pictured) who made both a heart pendant and a cross pendant. She is really talented and motivated, and I'm psyched to see where her work goes. It also helps that her English is by far the best.

Hard at work today

 Today (Wednesday) we made brass and fabric necklaces, which involved use of the disc cutters, delicate file work, folding, texturing, text and design. This was NOT an easy project and they did incredibly well.

Rehema and Rachma modeling some work from the week

 I'm thrilled with how far they've come this week, and I can't wait to see what happens when they start designing their own work even more than they already are. Next week we're covering sawing and then they'll start fully independent designs, with assistance of course. They haven't even complained about not getting to keep the pieces they make, at least not when they realized that they would get a portion of the profits when they sell and the rest will go to Tamiha. They're really good kids, even though it's a heck of a lot harder to battle teenage attitude when they can just switch to another language. That said, I think it's going to be a great few months, and I can't wait to see what they do next!

Adorable, right?

Ok, this is totally unrelated, but the flip side of being called Mzungu by adults who should know better after I've introduced myself is the ridiculously adorable children who will rush up to you on the street to say hi, to talk, to touch your hands. This little group accosted me on the way home and asked me to take a picture, and how could I say no? They wouldn't let go of my hand for about ten minutes. So stinking cute!

So I'll be working with the girls and mamas at Lukundane Monday through Wednesday, then helping out at the Tamiha orphanage on Thursdays, which is more of a day care/early school for kids 4-9 or so who are orphans but have extended family with whom they stay at night. Fridays I'll be up at Nicarangua, in the mountains, helping out at an orphanage that sounds a lot more dire - they have a lot of kids, including three new babies (1 month, 4 months and 6 months), many HIV positive, all of whom have nowhere else to go and sleep there as well as stay during the day. I'm excited to get some baby time but obviously worried about whether I can handle not being able to "save" them all. It's hard to know whether it's better or worse to give affection and have them form attachments and then leave, or to stay uninvolved. We'll see, I'll report back in a few days. Thanks for the comments and love, it makes me feel less far away! 

Oh dear god

Packages arrived today - I'm thrilled and also, not gonna lie, absolutely terrified. An amazing amount of stuff came through, and I may end up paying an insane amount of money to get it all to Tanzania! Definitely concerned. As it stands, I have one bag EXACTLY at 70 pounds, which is the overweight bag limit, another bag EXACTLY at 50 pounds, which is the basic baggage limit, and my carry on at 25 pounds, which is the carry on limit! The only concern is that I had to stick some weird looking tools in my carry on, which are not actually dangerous nor could they be used to inflict harm - a dapping block, some dapping punches, and a disc cutter - none of which are as violent as I now realize they sound. However, I will almost certainly have to explain them to security, and I'm not really looking forward to that. And the Contenti package hasn't even arrived yet, so I'm hoping it's lightweight things. Really, this is an embarrassment of riches, and I could not be more thrilled to be able to bring it over, I hope this doesn't sound like complaining - I'm just a little concerned, is all! Wish me luck and lenient airline staff!

Updated: Aaaand it's like Contenti read my mind - they sent over a lightweight wooden dapping block and punches, as well as a much smaller and lighter disc cutter, along with various other fabulous tools. I know I'm gushing, but seriously, this all worked out far, far better than I could ever have hoped for. Thank you, thank you to everyone who has helped, especially the wonderful owners of Contenti and Janet Haldeman at Rio. Also, my amazing family friend/artistic fairy godmother Ruth has agreed to take the items that either didn't fit or were too technically advanced for the facilities I'll have, and pass them along to other worthy causes in the area. Paying it forward!

Thrilling update

The gloriously wonderful people at Rio Grande have come through with "hammers, saw frames, saw blades, one hand drill, drill bits, steel bench block, files, lots of different pliers, some copper and brass sheet and some wire" - about thirty pounds of beautious STUFF that will translate into a real, functioning jewelry program for these girls. Contenti and Rio are my official jewelry supply guardian angels, and now the next step is figuring out how on EARTH I'm going to get all these supplies to Tanzania. I was kidding yesterday when I suggested becoming the pantsless wonder, but it's looking more and more likely as the days go by. In reality, I'm going to have to suck it up and use an extra bag and pay whatever it takes to get my materials through. However, I'm going to try to do the impossible and extract sympathy from a commercial airline to see if they'll give me some kind of break on the baggage allowance - cross your fingers (and your toes, I'll need all the help I can get) for me!