Tutarudi, watoto. (We will return, babies)

Ericki (left) and Stevie (right), giving me
nyewele pendeza (beautiful hair)!

So, I've just moved up to West London to Brunel University and am settling in well, plastering my shelves with pictures of the kids, family, happy memories, my life. To me, it's just a step closer to being back in Nkoaranga, changing 'pleasant'  (*cough!*) nappies, feeding 'yummy' Ugi, (baby formula) playing the wonderful made up games the kids bring to us, and of course, my favorite part of the day, watching all of the beautiful babies, toddlers, children sleep. I don't mean because that means that they are actually quiet for a miraculous 10 hours, not at all. It just really is one of the best things to see, peaceful and adorable - despite the usual aroma of wee in the air, bless them!

I am unbelievably, ridiculously, SUPER excited to be going back to Tanzania with Bekka AND Emily. It's going to be amazing, although, we will all have to attempt to find time at fitting revision in somewhere between installing the filters from Project MAJI, doing health evaluations on all the kids, and, of course, getting our beautiful kids off to school, as part of Project Education.

It's going to be great to be able to say goodbye to Dianess, Stevie and Ericki before they head out into the big wide world for school. As you all know, we are in the final stages of fundraising to enroll this year's group of kids in high quality Tanzanian boarding schools, through The Foundation for Tomorrow. (We have some very exciting initiatives in the works to support Project Education, so keep a look out to find out what we've got planned!) We are also already thinking of next year’s little academics - Pendo, Abdulli, and of course, my special little guy, David Kubwa, who will all be venturing out of Nkoaranga to study in January of 2013.

I honestly can't even remember or think as to how David and I got close. But we did, and hearing him remembering and saying my name for the first time was one my most fulfilling moments. To be honest, whenever any of the kids called out to you, it was incredible - even better, to have a conversation in Swahili with them, to truly communicate, really makes you stop and think. We came from such different places, and to bridge the gap - to see them happy and laughing, despite the trauma many of them have been there, makes you completely look at life in a whole new way (I'm getting tears in my eyes as I type this now!). Since coming home from Tanzania, I really am a whole different person. I'm happy with what I have and appreciate it, as cliché and cheesy as it may sound. As long as you have your family and friends, that really is all that you need to be happy (and of course, the memories of Nkoaranga orphanage and the kids!) It really is these kids and the mamas that I have to thank for that.

Andrea (front) and Ericki

I found Bekka's blog, 'Beautiful Girls' really interesting. Like her, I totally agree about loving how the kids are totally oblivious to 'gender stereotyping' and couldn't care less about what color clothes they were wearing, be it a favorite bright pink jumper that was a hit with some of the 'lads' or whether it was the laid back 'builders' boots, that I would often see Loveness wear. That's their love for Bob the Builder right there! I would love it when they would sit and play with my hair for ages, quite often, Andrea, who a fair few of us have decided is going to be hairdresser when he's older! It was so therapeutic, often sending me nearly to sleep as they would spend time attempting plaits and ponytails, (or just general knots) - or Loveness' favorite, putting spit in her hand, then transferring it through my hair, for the 'wet look' maybe? Who knows!

As for making them aware that they are all beautiful, I think this word means more than meets the eye. I don’t feel it’s just the girls that can be called beautiful; I think it is wider than that. People are beautiful. Be it, a man, a woman, a boy, a girl, a baby, anyone. To me, it is just a lovely, happy word that describes something amazing on the outside and the inside, which is, fundamentally, what we most want to convey to the children.

You could tell that those children felt loved by us all and the mamas and by visitors, by anyone. Who couldn’t adore them? They are all so amazing that they know what is important. They look out for each other and you can just seem the closeness and the love that they have for each other. Playing games as groups, doing a conga line on the last morning that I spent there when they knew we were bringing out balloons! Letting an adult know when there was a problem or someone was hurt, feeding the babies and toddlers, the list is endless. Of course, it wasn’t always perfect. There were arguments, hits, kicks, crying, not sharing, but, at the end of the day, they’re kids who spend 24/7 constantly in each other’s company. They truly are brothers and sisters at heart - I argued with my sister so much! But deep down, I always loved her and you can see when you watch the kids that they 100% love and care for each other. And that is what I call a beautiful thing.

I'm sure I can speak on behalf of all of the other volunteers from the orphanage, that we often stop and take the time to look through the mountains of pictures and albums that we have of the kids and just smile, and, possibly, shed the odd tear, as we genuinely miss them from the bottom of our hearts, their cheeky grins and infectious laughter.

Just a few days before I was due to get on a plane back to England, I was just folding up some washing when David walks in to be a little star and help... He then called me 'mama.' Trying not to break out in tears right then was pretty dam hard. I just hugged him and told him that I loved him and that I would be back. How could I not? We're family.

Enough of the sad stuff, I am going back… we will all be back, I'm sure!

Counting down the days to see you all again beautiful watoto (babies) -
Nakukosa, nakupenda. (I miss you, I love you.)

Board Bio: Marie Korfits - Days, weeks and months full of love and smiles

In Denmark, we have a saying that states ‘Away is good, but home is best’. And yes, home for me is safe, home is good, home means hot water, electricity and food everyday. However, this has never convinced me to stay at home and I am glad it has not. This conviction has always led me to travel a lot and experience new cultures - this year it led me to Tanzania, Africa.

My name is Marie Korfits and I am 21 years old. I live in Aarhus, Denmark with my boyfriend Jakob. I study Psychology at Aarhus University, which I enjoy very much.

After working and saving up money for six months last year, I decided to go to Africa to volunteer for some time. There was no particular reason why I chose Tanzania as my destination in Africa, but since my mum has travelled in the country I have always thought of it as a place I had to visit one day.

I went through the organisation called Projects Abroad, which gave me the opportunity to live with a local Tanzanian family in a little village and work at Nkoaranga Orphanage for three months. This experience is, without a doubt one of the biggest experiences of my life.

Living with a local family was very eye-opening and I got to experience the daily life of a Tanzanian family and was given a huge insight in Tanzanian culture through that. Life in the village was primitive and I slowly began to see electricity and hot water as a rare blessing rather than a part of daily life. I was also presented to some of the challenges Tanzanian families face everyday; how do we get food on the table, how to we fight malaria, how do we get water and how do we afford to send our kids to school.

As I started working at the orphanage things were put even more into perspective - suddenly I was surrounded by children, who didn’t even have parents, didn’t own any personal belongingss, didn’t own anything. Children who had a smile on their face every single day even though they have nothing at all. This struck me almost every single day - where do they find all this happiness, all these smiles and all these laughs when they have nothing at all.

To me, this was very inspirational and it made it so important to me to make these children feel loved and feel appreciated as the little bright individuals they all are. That is why I loved coming up there every morning to pick them up from their beds and meet them with love and care. That is also why I truly enjoy being part of The Small Things, where we all have an opportunity to keep being an influence on these children’s lives.

I often think back on all the memories I have from my work at the orphanage and with every single child that lives there. I remember David’s hilarious laugh when I would tickle his little stomach, I remember Loveness’ long hugs, I remember Neema’s first steps, I often laugh at Zawadi’s weird obsession with having her shoes on her hands, and I can not forget Frankies lovely smile and his big brown eyes. I can easily hear Simoni’s ‘Bob the Builder’ song and imagine Pray’s little games that he would pull on the volunteers’ patience. And it is impossible for me to forget Baracka’s lovely smile and adventurous mind, Maurini’s kisses and Andrea trying to convince me to put rubber boots on him everyday. In between all of these happy moments with the children, I also remember the sound of each and every one of them crying and the hours spent at the hospital waiting for malaria test results - I remember how badly Frankie’s fever could get, and how Baracka’s smile could get knocked out by malaria. I remember it all, and I will never forget the good and bad times spent in the company with these bright children, and I know for sure that I will do anything I can to spend many more with them.

Altogether, it was such a giving experience to get to be around these children at Nkoaranga Orphanage for three months and to be able to watch them grow, learn and live.

It also strenghened my conviction that away and home can be just as good - afterall, home should be defined as the place where the heart is - and a piece of my heart is with the children at Nkoaranga Orphanage.

I can only encourage people to show interest and commitment to the work we are doing with The Small Things in the hope of being able to help these children towards a bright and healthy future.

Love,

Marie Korfits

TheSmallThings - marie@thesmallthings.org

Only 97 days to go...

So, this week has been a pretty hectic week. The start of university, new friends, new city, new life. But, by far, the most important thing that has happened to me is (finally) the booking of my tickets back to Tanzania, and those beautiful children that I miss more every single day.

I'm only able to go for two weeks over Christmas because of university, but any time spent with the children at all means more than you could ever imagine. I arrive on Christmas day and I couldn't think of a more perfect present than to see those little monkeys and their cheeky grins again.

The children have a way of imprinting themselves on your heart. They are all so funny and smart and kind and loving, which means that once you have met them, it's impossible to forget them. I cannot wait to see them again, and love the thought that everyday I'm one step closer to seeing their beautiful little faces.

This is only a short blog, to express my UNBELIEVABLE EXCITEMENT at the thought of seeing the kids again. So, to make up for my lack of words, I give you a gorgeous video of Andrea, Saimoni and David playing with bubbles. This is a perfect example of how much Saimoni's rickets have improved as you can see how mobile and fast he has gotten. Enjoy! 

A year already!

I've officially touched down in London, where I've started my MPA degree, specializing in International Development, at the London School of Economics. London is beautiful, but moving across the ocean - and not ending up back with my kids - has been really rough. Compounding that, our gorgeous babies Frankie and Maureen just turned one in the past two weeks! They came into the orphanage on my very first day, only a few weeks old - they're become such an amazing, strong kids. Here's a quick look back at their first year - and in a way, mine.

So proud of you, and can't wait to see where you are in another year, little ones.

Telling you a bit more about our beautiful Dainessi, Stevie and Eriki

During my 6 months at Nkoaranga, I got to know Dainess, Stephen and Eriki and the funny, clever and beautiful children that they are. Each of these children is special in their own way and all deserve the chance to go to school and show us their full potential.

Whilst we currently have the full sponsorship for Eriki, and the yearly sponsorships for Dainess and Stephen, we are still to raise the 3 years up front required for the latter two. So I thought I would use this opportunity to tell you all a little bit more about these wonderful children....

Dainessi

Dainess, or known as Dainessi to most of us, was one of the first children I bonded with at the orphanage. The second I walked into the orphanage, she jumped at me, enveloping me in a massive hug and I've loved her ever since. She has been referred to as 'a force of nature' and I couldn't agree with this statement more. She is one of the most determined little girls I have ever met and I know her confidence will shine through when she goes to school.

Over the 6 months I was at Nkoaranga I saw Dainess grow and mature; she showed that she was way ahead of her years (5), as she took every opportunity she could to help the Mamas with feeding and caring for the younger children. She loves pleasing everyone else and, like any little girl, loves receiving praise. She loves to dance and if there is ever any music on, I can guarantee that she will be up, giving it her all, shouting your name to show you her energetic and impressive moves. She quite a tomboy and is extremely loud, but every so often, she would tap me on my shoulder, not saying a word, but pointing to the pretty shoes she has put on or the scarf she has wrapped around her head, and I will respond with 'una pendeza sana!' (you are very beautiful!), and she will run off with a massive grin on her face.

One of the best things about Dainessi, is her incredibly dramatic facial expressions; you know something is wrong when she pulls one of those faces, but can't help but giggle at how cute and dramatic she looks. Dainessi is a smart, funny, loving, kind, cheeky and incredible little girl and I can't wait to see what she does in her life.

Stevie

Stephen, or known to all as Stevie, is an energetic, cheeky, creative and smart 5 year old boy, who has brought us such wonders as 'wewe chakoula' and the 'bubble gum stuck in hair' incident. I grew incredibly close to Stevie during my time at the orphanage, and every day he did something that made me love him even more. He's a very smart little boy and loves to invent new games.

I will never forget the day that he was chatting away to us in Swahili, when one of the other volunteers, whose Swahili was much better than mine, started laughing. When I asked them what he had said, they replied with, 'nothing, he is making up words to confuse you'. The cheeky little monkey was making up Swahili to try and muddle us up! That's the kind of smart, cheeky and inventive boy Stevie is, and his incredible imagination is going to take him far in this world. He is always making everyone laugh and, as this story shows, has a wonderful sense of humour.

Now don't get me wrong, Stevie wasn't a troublemaker, he was a bit cheeky sometimes, but he was also incredibly kind. When Mirium first came to the orphanage, she was very shy and terrified of the other children and it took a while for her to settle in. One day when I was sat with her on my lap, trying to encourage her to play with the toys, Stevie came and sat down next to me and handed Mirium the toy he was playing with. He then showed her how she was supposed to play with the toy and they started to play together. This was such a magical experience to see, as not only was Mirium beginning to feel more comfortable in her home, but it also showed me the mature, selfless and beautiful boy that Stevie is.

Stevie was one of the children I became the closest to whilst at Nkoaranga, and, though I found it ridiculously difficult to leave the kids, I found it especially hard to leave him. When Stevie is upset, he becomes very quiet and hardly says anything; the night I said goodbye to him, he didn't say a word. Stevie is a confident, funny, smart, loving, imaginative and extremely cool little boy and when he gets to school he is going to show us all what he is really made of.

Eriki

Our beautiful Eriki is already sponsored, but I felt he is such a kind, helpful and funny little boy that you should all be given the chance to get to know him too. Eriki was another one of the children that I became the closest with, but I didn't get to really know him until later on in my placement. He is a very sensitive little boy, as he has a very emotionally straining past, but the more you get to know Eriki, the more comfortable he becomes with you and the louder he gets. He can't stand the idea of disappointing anyone, so if he ever thinks he has hurt anyone, he becomes extremely upset. However, this also works in reverse, if he ever thinks he has pleased anyone, he becomes extremely happy and has a HUGE grin on his face. He is a very helpful little boy and I can remember many different occasions when I found him sat in the laundry room helping the volunteers to fold the clean clothes.

Towards the end of my time at the orphanage, Eriki and I became very close, and he would often come and sit on the edge of the changing table as I changed one of the babies, chat away to me and play with my camera. He loved choosing outfits for the children and would scale the shelves to find the perfect outfit for the baby I was changing.

Seeing Eriki cry was one of the hardest things I ever experienced, as he only cried if he was really upset or thought he had really hurt someone else. When I said goodbye to him he cried hysterically and it made me wonder whether us working at the orphanage was really worth it as it caused so much pain when anyone left. But then I remembered all the times we had made the children laugh and the unbelievable amount of love that the volunteers showed the children, and I realised that, when they look back on their childhood, though it won't be what is seen as a 'traditional upbringing', they will still remember a blur of constant love from all the volunteers that have cared for them over the years. And some of those volunteers, such as Bekka and Bethan, and hopefully myself, will go back and visit the children as soon and as often as possible, because there is no way we were able to leave those beautiful children without knowing that we will see them again soon. Eriki is a funny, sensitive, clever, loving, loyal and enthusiastic little boy, who will throw himself into any activity he is given and so will do some pretty impressive stuff when he gets to school.

Each of these children are special in their own way, they're all hard-working, smart, funny, kind and amazingly loving. Please help us give these beautiful children the chance that so many don't get, and help us to send them to school.

 

An example of 'una pendeza sana!'

Stevie and Eriki showing us their brilliant impressions of Babus (old men or grandfathers).

Thank you to our latest donors, Lily Maisel and Rasmus Houmann Korfits! We're getting there! 

Beautiful Girls

Because Farajah IS beautiful

There's been some interesting rumbling on the internets about an article on Huffington Post that brought up the idea of staying away from calling little girls pretty or beautiful, in favor of focusing on their internal qualities - their brains, their hearts. A lot of the dialogue has centered on the difference between women talking to their own daughters, where the consensus seems to be that mothers should tell their daughters they are beautiful AND smart, as opposed to how we speak to other peoples' children, who we don't have the chance to impact in the long term quite the same way.

For myself, I hope that someday my daughter will know that I think she's brilliant, and also that she's gorgeous, and also that it wouldn't matter to me if she wasn't. With that said, I personally make a real effort to make my first comments to little girls that I don't know NOT be about their looks - although it's definitely a work in progress. If little girls grow up having every new person that they meet comment on their looks right away, whereas they see little boys being asked about their activities, that makes very clear implications about the world thinks is valuable.

Most of the orphanage kids don't have the patience
to have their hair done - except Loveness

The orphanage kids fall somewhere in-between, and, as volunteers, our role is a hard one to figure. On the one hand, the kids meet new volunteers on a regular basis, and they are effectively their connection to the outside world - so what we praise about them matters, in terms of their ideas about what is valuable in themselves. On the other hand, they don't have families to instill confidence in them - confidence in their strengths as people, but also confidence that they are beautiful, desirable, worthy of every kind of love. Even more potently, family and not government provide the security net in Tanzania. Impoverished girls in Tanzania lack access to welfare, schooling and jobs available more easily to girls in the developed world, and many more end up turning to prostitution as a last resort. How do we balance teaching them to be confident in their beauty and desirability with simultaneously teaching them to rely on their brains and guts rather than their bodies to achieve their goals?

Andrea (a boy) with his "baby" on his back

In some ways, the kids grow up oblivious of gender norms, and I love that - and we try to give them balanced portraits of caretaking by encouraging male volunteers, both short and long term, and encouraging all of the kids to help with the younger ones. They won't stay that oblivious forever, though. Tanzanian culture is very clearly delineated between male and female roles, and while cracks are beginning to appear, in most cases women are the caretakers and men hold positions of power. 

So what approach should we take? For myself, I'm trying to be conscious of how often I talk to the girls about how pretty they are, and make sure I'm (at least!) balancing it with praise about their other qualities - their language, their creativity, their kindness. And with the boys, I want to prolong as long as possible the time before they learn that pink and dresses and nail polish are "for girls," and that anyone might think less of them - frankly, for any reason, but especially for what they wear or look like. 

At the end of the day, it all comes down to the same thing - letting them know they are loved, deeply and consistently and unconditionally. Part of that is supporting the mamas, easing their burden so that they can spend more time just being with the kids, nurturing them as people. Part of it is encouraging and guiding new volunteers. And part of it is showing up, as often as possible, in person or through donations - to teach them that although our lives might take us away for a while, our hearts and our minds stay with them. That we're thinking about them, their safety, their futures, and their happiness - whatever they look like on the outside.

Kids dressing themselves DOES
 lead to interesting choices... Simoni
with a diaper hat...

... and Pray in tie-dye and pink...

Growing up Nkoaranga

It's been a long few months. I have some ongoing medical issues that are being frustratingly evasive, and it's not clear whether I'm going to be able to start LSE this year or not. Which would mean that I'd be another year out, and the kids another year older, by the time I could conceivably return full time to Nkoaranga orphanage and to Tanzania. I get scared thinking how big my babies will be by the time I return - and it breaks my heart into tiny pieces not to be there to see it.

Stevie's big mouthed grin

Dainess's expectant, "Don't you want
to play with me?" face

Little grandfather Simoni's appraising look 

Dainess's melodramatic,
the-world-is-ending face

I try to remember, that getting older means getting stronger - Ebenezer is a strong, healthy baby, not a vulnerable preemie. Zawadi, who at a year couldn't even crawl, is walking and talking in full sentences. Simoni is running and jumping, when a year ago, because of his rickets, he could only scoot across the floor.

Simoni's cheeky grin

And then I see these. Pictures of our "big kids" now, back when they were little - and their personalities shine right through every pore. The same kids, with the same hearts, the same strengths, and the same weaknesses. And I know that even as they get bigger, they'll
still be my babies, always.

Tumaini (left) and Dainess (right),
giggling their faces off. 

I miss the babies they were. But I could not be prouder of the kids they are becoming.

Help us continue Stevie and Dainess's journey by contributing to get them into school this January.

Dainess

That's Dainess on the right, in a rare quiet(er) moment. Usually she is jumping, dancing, picking up a younger child, or chattering with her friends. When my husband and I visited Nkoaranga orphanage in April 2011, Dainess attached herself to me the minute I came into the orphanage, launching herself like a missile into my arms, confident I would catch her (I did). She is a lovely, bright, radiant child, full of life and smart as a whip. She was curious about everything we did with her, asking the English names of every item of clothing, piece of jewelry, animal -- serving as my impromptu interpreter. Pretty amazing for a preschooler! Now she is a young girl ready for school. I believe she has a bright future and deserves the chance to have a good start in life through education. With her curiosity, she'll just sponge up all that school has to offer. Please, help us give her that opportunity today by contributing to our Education Project - see all the details here. 

Board Bios - Emily Butler

My name is Emily Butler. I live in Leeds, England and have my whole life. I’m 19 years old and finished my A levels last year. In September I will be going to Manchester University to study Adult Nursing. I always knew I wanted to take a gap year because I wanted to have the chance to experience another culture and knew I would never get the chance to after university. I have always loved volunteering, and have been taking part in a variety of placements since I was in my mid-teens. I have been a member of the British Red Cross for 4 years now, and have taken part in various first aid duties. I have also done quite a bit of volunteering in a care home, as well as tutoring a young boy with Asperger's syndrome.

My classroom at Nkoaranga primary school

I have done a variety of volunteer work, but never in my life have I ever experienced anything like the work I did in those 6 months at Nkoaranga. Not only was I working in the orphanage, but I also taught a class of 75 children, aged between 10 and 14 years old, for 4 and a half months- this was such an incredible experience, terrifying at first, but so rewarding. Watching the children learn and improve was amazing, and it was so nice to know that this was due to my teaching.

Going on a gap year, everyone tells you that you will fall in love with the country you visit and make friends that you will know for the rest of your life, and I thought, ‘Yeah, I’m sure it will be lovely, but I seriously doubt that will happen’. I could not have been more wrong.

Living in Tanzania was, hands down, the greatest experience of my life. I met such incredible and inspiring friends in Africa, and I know I will know them for the rest of my life. The children at the orphanage were the most beautiful, little individuals I had ever met and it was impossible for me not to fall in love with every single one of them. Watching the children grow and knowing that I was one of the first people to see Gracie sit up, Ester's first steps and Zawadi overcoming rickets and walking without any assistance was so special and I count myself as the luckiest person alive to have been given the chance to experience that and encourage the children along the way.

Simoni giggling, as usual!

Working at the orphanage was incredibly challenging; I never knew it was possible to experience such a range of emotions in one day. Joy when the kids ran up to me and hugged me as I first walked into the orphanage each morning, annoyance when the kids were being a little bit too cheeky, fear when a child was crying, happiness when I saw their beautiful smiles and finally, love, always love. No matter how hard the day was, there was always an unbelievable amount of love.

Me and our beautiful big helper, Farajah

The only way I was able to leave Nkoaranga Orphanage was knowing that I would be back to visit as soon and as often as possible. Being part of The Small Things gives me a way of helping the children, even when I’m such a long distance from them. It gives me a connection that I am so grateful for. I love knowing that any work I do over here can help those incredible balls of energy that are so far away.

I am currently spending every day working towards earning enough money to go back and visit the children, but, until then, I will continue to work with The Small Things to help to look after our wonderful children from an entirely different continent. You don’t understand how grateful I am for the work everyone is doing to protect and care for these beautiful children. I want to thank all of you for supporting and helping the The Small Things- you, the volunteers, the mamas and the board members of The Small Things are the reason our children are safe. The reason they are still smiling and making us laugh in so many different ways. So, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you. Everything we do is for the people at Nkoaranga and, though we can do no great things, everything we do is done with an amazing amount of love.

Best friends - Farajah (left) and Dainess