A day full of love and cherished memories

Though I never met Reziki my heart still aches at the thought that he is no longer with us. Hearing everyone's kind words about him is so special as it means that his memory will still live on. I wish that I could have had the chance to know that beautiful little boy and to love him as he deserved to be loved.

Yesterday, on November the 29th, on the day that would have been Reziki's 1st birthday, my cousin gave birth to a beautiful little boy. A boy who will be loved and cared for more than words could describe- just as Reziki would be if he was still here.

So, even though little Reziki is no longer with us, I feel we should still celebrate the sweet boy that he was. Remember him fondly and use his memory as inspiration for us to work as hard as we can to ensure our children are safe and happy. From now on I will use November the 29th to celebrate the birthday of my gorgeous new baby cousin and to remember that beautiful boy who is no longer here.

We, at The Small Things, strive to ensure that our children are safe. We are working in the memory of our beautiful Reziki, a boy who fought so hard to stay alive.If you ever get the chance, then take a second to remember those we have lost, and to celebrate those we have around us. There is nothing more valuable in this world than your family. Whether it is the caring family my baby cousin has come in to, or the loving family that is Nkoaranga orphanage and The Small Things- they all share a love that cannot be measured.

So, even though I never knew you Reziki, please know that you still hold a special place in my heart, and I promise to love my new cousin as much as you are loved even though you are no longer with us.

Sleep peacefully little man.

Bittersweet milestones - three first birthdays

This is a happy and a sad week - it's been one year since three fantastic kids came into the world.

Vicky, November 26th

Filipo, November 28th

And today would have been Reziki's first birthday, November 29th. I can't do better than Amy's beautiful post about his short life, here. All I can say is that we love and miss you, and you are not forgotten.

As part of honoring his memory, we're doing everything we can to keep Peace, our newest little preemie, healthy and strong. As of this morning, he is 3.25 kilos - which means he's gained a half kilo in the last week, which is FANTASTIC news. We hope that our providing the funds to have one mama caring for him exclusively has helped, and we look forward to him being a happy, healthy member of the Nkoaranga family.

Our Christmas Tradition - Why does my family give?

I'm Kristina Alexander, the latest board member at The Small Things. I'm currently studying social work in Canada - and counting the days until I return to Tanzania next summer!

Multitasking with David (left) and Ester - look how much
they've grown!

As far back as I can remember I have always wanted to go to Africa. My parents would maybe even tell you that at certain times in my life it was all I talked about. I know this to be true as the months that led up to my trip there I researched, I read, I packed, I repacked to fit more into my suitcases, and in a last ditch effort to take everything I wanted to donate to the orphanage I vacuum packed a suitcase! My family and friends gathered for a farewell dinner where they showered me with love, encouragement, and donations to take with me. What started off as my dream became my reality when I boarded the plane from Victoria, BC, Canada and flew for 22 hours to Tanzania in August 2010. My mom’s last words were “I love you”, and my dad’s were “go live your dream.” And that’s what I did.

I was fortunate enough to live with a local family in a small village not too far from Nkoaranga. They accepted me as their own and taught me the customs and cultural traditions in a country that I was unfamiliar with. In the evenings I would have Swahili lessons with the children in my new family, and my room mate and I would lay under our mosquito nets and talk about our days and this crazy place that we were calling “home”.

Cuddling my "bean," Ester

I still remember the day I arrived at Nkoaranga and was greeted with an abundance of bright smiles, hugs and kisses from the school children, and open arms from Mama Pendo. Instantly you fall in love with this place, you can’t help it. Mama Pendo is an amazing woman and I have never met anyone quite like her. She has been at the orphanage for 22+ years and has seen some of the children arrive as babies and graduate from school 18 years later. She remembers everything about the day a child arrived, why they are there and who comes to visit them and when. She is a support system for the mamas that work there, the volunteers that come and go, and a true servant. She is full of enthusiasm, can cook, clean, mend a scrape on a knee, feed the children, laugh with them, change them, fold laundry, tend to administration work and sing like an angel; the list goes on. She was truly a mentor for me when I was there.

As my days turned into weeks, and my weeks into months Christmas was on the horizon. With Christmas coming it was time to decide what my family would sponsor this year. Without hesitation my sister’s suggested Nkoaranga. What more could I ask for then to carry out our Christmas tradition in a place that I loved, and my family was growing to love through my emails and photos I was sending home. It’s a whole different experience when you get to see your donations in motion. Our Christmas tradition started in 2002 when my Grandma Margery Scanlon passed away.

My nephew holding a "Project MAJI"
bottle and a picture of Stevie that I
gave him to help him understand that I'd
made a donation to "Auntie Kristina's African
babies" in his honor.

Growing up my Grandma was always an important part of my life. As far back as I can remember she was always there for me. Her constant flow of encouragement to try harder in school, set my goals in life high, and become a better person was evident; after all she was a teacher. She taught me that sand stayed at the park so empty your shoes before you leave. She taught me how to eat chocolate wagon wheels, and hide my smarties from my Grandpa. She taught me how to pick raspberries from the bushes in her backyard. She even assisted me with my school work, and sibling rivalry. But, perhaps the greatest lesson that I learnt was to put others before myself, to help those less fortunate than I was, and be generous in everything I do.

For over 25 years my Grandma sponsored children through World Vision. At any given time she had multiple children on the go. She proudly displayed their photos and sent them little presents in the mail. I was always intrigued by this. When she passed away my parents sponsored her children along with the ones they already had. And it was that Christmas my sister’s and I started a new Christmas tradition. We wanted our Grandma’s legacy to continue and the generosity that she shared with others to not be forgotten. Each year since then we have sponsored children in the field of education in a third world county. I just never imagined that last year I would get to give our families donation to Nkoaranga and see our donation make such an incredible difference for the children there. For that I am truly thankful.

This year will mark the tenth Christmas that our family will celebrate without my Grandma. However, when my mom opens up the gold present under the tree in my Grandma’s memory, and the tears flow, we will feel her there. The gold present simply contains a page of written words put together by three sisters and their families to remind my parents that Grandma will never be forgotten. She lives on in the gifts we give to others, the moments and memories we share as a family, and “the small things” that we do. I never imagined that my families' Christmas tradition would ever make it hand delivered to Africa, but I’m so thrilled it did.

However your family chooses to celebrate the holidays this year I would encourage you to create a new tradition. A tradition of sponsorship for the lives and education of the children at Nkoaranga. A tradition that will make the difference between a child attending school or not. A tradition that you will always remember, and will be a gift that the children will never forget - ever. You may never have the opportunity to meet them in person, and may only hear the stories and see the pictures through The Small Things, but I can tell you first hand these children are the future for their country. They will become the voices of change, the movers and shakers, but they need our support to get there, so this holiday season please give.

In Memory of our Grandma Margery Scanlon 1913 - 2002


Please consider starting your own family tradition of charitable giving - we're grateful for anything you can give.

Thankful

We're an international crew here at The Small Things, but today is as good a day as any to reflect a little on the past year and the (many, many) things we're thankful for. So without further ado, a bit from each of us former volunteers about what we're most grateful for from the last year.

Stevie, Emily and Dainess

Emily Butler: Amongst many things, I would say one of the things that I'm thankful for is the fact that I was ever able to know and be loved by those beautiful children - that I was able to experience them running up to me, shouting my name and jumping on top of me the second I walked into the orphanage.

Emily and Mama Vicky

I'm thankful for all the support The Small Things has received and the fact that over the past few months between us, we've raised enough money to put in water filters, hire another mama, send three beautiful children to school and get started on the fund for next years schooling already. I'm so grateful to know that our wonderful children are being looked after by such loving and caring women- it gives me piece of mind to know that, even though we are all so far away from them, they are safe and happy. And I'm grateful for all the brilliant people who are helping to support the children and mama's - including my fellow board members!

Dorothy with Dainess

Dorothy Goldberg: Who knew at the start of this year that I would be part of an amazing organization like The Small Things? I am so thankful for the courage and passion of my daughter Bekka, who opened up a whole continent to us that otherwise we may never have experienced. I am thankful for the wonderful people of Nkoaranga Hospital and Orphanage, who opened their hearts to us when we went to visit in April. I am thankful to be a continuing part of the lives of the children and Mamas there, who are teaching us so much about love and commitment. I am grateful to the young volunteers who give months or years of their time to help improve the lives of the children at Nkoaranga. And I am thankful for all those people, all over the world, who understand that we can make a big difference through small acts of kindness. Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Megan cuddling Dainess

Megan Williams: I'm thankful for how the Small Things has taken off. I'm thankful that it means I'll always have some way to be in the kids' lives. Probably the thing I am most thankful for is that Project Education means that Stevie, Eriki and Dainessi will be off to school. Originally I was quite concerned that they might not get there and I think all three of them are the kind of children that will really really make the most of it.

David with Simoni

David Ross Russell: This Thanksgiving I am grateful for the experiences of the last year: travelling to Africa to visit Nkoaranga, for the friendship and lessons learned there, for family and friends, and for continued good health. We were so lucky to be able to travel to Africa and meet some truly amazing people- to learn from them some real values- that small things (people, acts of kindness, open attitudes) can make big differences and that so much of what we think we need is truly not a requirement for fulfillment.

Not least I am thankful to have had the chance to meet a truly inspiring group of wonderful young volunteers who give me a renewed sense of purpose and energy to believe that seemingly intractable problems are worth fighting.

Marie with David

Marie Korfits: I am so thankful for how far we have gotten with The Small Things - it is heartwarming to see how many people from all over have supported our work. It is truly amazing how small things can make such a difference, and I am looking forward to establishing further projects to give all these wonderful kids a bright and safe future!

Bethan with Simoni

Bethan Crisp: I'm thankful for my whole Tanzanian experience and the great opportunities I have been given - it taught me so much and made me see life in a totally new way. I'm grateful for the beautiful children that just make you realize what is important. I"m thankful for my family and friends, for the love and support they have given me and for helping me return to Nkoaranga this Christmas. They've led me to what I regard now as my extended family - the wonderful children, the devoted mamas and of course, The Small Things. Thank you for making it possible to do such amazing things for such amazing people.

Ebeni's struggle

Emma and Pendo

Emma Shaw: I'm thankful that the children are generally so happy, healthy and loving individuals, despite all the stuff some of them have been through. I'm thankful that we've made enough money to employ an extra mama specifically to look after Peace until we can get out to Tanzania. I'm thankful for all the support and enthusiasm from both my fellow board members and everyone who's supported The Small Things so far, and made everything possible - you're amazing! And I'm thankful for Zawadi and Simoni overcoming rickets so well, and for Ebenezer making it through the pneumonia that he was struggling with when I left, and for Pendo and Miriam settling in so well, after their struggles at the beginning! Thank you so much.

Farajah and Maureeni cuddling

As for me (Bekka), I'm profoundly thankful for so many things - for Maureeni's kisses, for Frankie's smile, for David's laugh, for Ebenezer, Simoni and Zawadi's incredible progress, for the strength of the mamas, and for Amy's help in keeping us up to date. I'm grateful for Mama Pendo's incredible devotion to the children for over 22 years, and her warmth and openness in working with us to improve their lives. I'm so thankful for the love that the children have for one another, and the way that sustains them and feeds their souls.

We miss you, Reziki

I'm grateful beyond words for the support that has been shown to us from all corners of the earth - by the Seedlings Foundation, by Real Nappies, by Kozy Carriers, by Rebecca Woolf of GGC, by Tracey and Anna Black, and by everyone else who has contributed whatever they had - every bit makes a difference. I'm thankful for the tireless work of the board, and of the volunteers who are currently out there and those who are planning to head out. I'm thankful for getting to know Reziki during his brief sojourn on earth. I'm thankful for solar power, which hopefully in the next year will allow us to make blackouts a thing of the past for the kids, and for preemie formula that will help struggling little ones like Peace, for water filters that keep the kids healthy, and for vitamins that make them strong and prevent more rickets. I'm grateful beyond words to every one of you reading, for loving our kids. Thank you.

Simoni's incredible progress walking - and his silliness!

Mama Pendo's patience and love

Maureeni's kisses

And David's giggles

As always, there are a number of ways to help us out, and we are grateful for anything you can give.

Daoudi, Peace

Remember our new little guy, Daoudi? Turns out the mamas have renamed him Peace, both as a reflection of his personality and, I'd guess, because we already have a little and big David! He's a gorgeous boy, but he's definitely struggling - he has barely grown in his first month on earth. What he truly needs is a NICU - but since that's not an option, the next best thing is to have one person with him all the time, focusing just on coaxing him to eat and keeping him close to another body for temperature regulation. So since we can't fund a NICU (at least not yet!), we CAN fund an extra mama for the next three weeks, until some of us are flying out and can help share the burden. For just $100 per week, we can ensure that there is an extra woman focusing just on his needs, and we have spoken to the orphanage already about getting that going ASAP. In addition, we hope that our little man will hold on until we arrive bearing special high calorie, premature infant formula donated by Rebecca Woolf of Girls Gone Child. Until then, we can only do our best to help the mamas, and pray for him, and wait.

Baby Daoudi a month ago

And a few days ago, newly renamed baby Peace

A few hundred dollars is such a small price to save a life, but without support from donors like The Small Things, orphanages in Tanzania all too frequently watch their babies pass away. Thank you for anything you have already given or can give. 

Meet Pendo

Pendo means love in Swahili, and she definitely needs it. Pendo has had quite a rough start in life. Zawadi, who is her sister, was born when Pendo was about two and a half. Shortly after Zi's birth, their mother passed away and father disappeared. There appears to have been domestic violence involved, but there was never a formal investigation, so it is unclear. Since Pendo was old that she didn't need formula, she was taken in by her mother's mother, while Zawadi came to Nkoaranga orphanage. For the next two years, Pendo lived with her grandmother in severe poverty. Mama Pendo, who runs the orphanage, keeps in contact with all of the children's families where possible. In January of last year, she heard that Pendo's grandmother was having trouble caring for her, that her own health was flagging, and that Pendo was suffering as a result. 

Mama Pendo (center) holding Zawadi, with their
grandmother (left), Pendo, and great uncle in front of
the grandmother's house.

In April, Mama Pendo, my own mother, Zawadi and I got into a car and drove the several hours to find her family and talk to them about her future. Once we arrived, it took us over an hour of going to different relatives' houses to find the grandmother. It turns out that she had run away and hidden because she was afraid that we were bringing Zawadi back to her, and, heartbreakingly, she knew she was incapable of caring for her. When we explained that we just wanted her to see how well Zi was doing, she was thrilled to hold her granddaughter and let us get to know Pendo. 

Pendo was in fairly good physical shape, but she was undernourished and hadn't been vaccinated. The grandmother stated that she had a lot of trouble taking care of her, and asked for her to also come to the orphanage. As with all of the children, it is understood that should there be family members willing and able to care for the children, they are always welcome - and they are highly encouraged to keep in touch.

When we got back into the orphanage and got her washed, it became clear that Pendo has had a rough time of it. Her entire body is covered in small burns, and while it's theoretically possible that they are accidental kerosene burns, their regularity and number suggests that they are the result of some type of abuse. She had some trouble adjusting to life at the orphanage - for her first few months she was often violent with the other children and had trouble bonding with the mamas. She spent days barely speaking to anyone. 

Pendo (left) with Farajah and David

That girl is gone. Pendo today is a gorgeous, happy child - cuddling with mamas, volunteers, and the other kids, fully integrated into the Nkoaranga family. She's LOUD - confident and excited to share every thought. She's incredibly smart - despite having no exposure to English and limited exposure to Swahili in her early life (her family spoke primarily the dominant tribal language Ki-Meru), she is thriving in kindergarten and will be ready to go to school next year with Abdulli, David, and Andrea (and the help of The Foundation For Tomorrow). We are so proud of how far she's come. 

To start school next year, Pendo will need a sponsor - someone who can commit to being part of her life for the next ten years. An excellent education, room, board, clothes, extracurriculars, medical care, and care over vacations all cost just $1,100 per year through our partnership with TFFT. We are still looking for sponsors for all four of next year's kids. We hope that someone reading this will end up being part of the family we're creating for Pendo - whether through a full, half, or quarter sponsorship. She's been through more in her five years than any child deserves - but we are determined to give her the happy, healthy childhood she, and all of our children, deserve.

UPDATE: Three sponsors have stepped forward for Pendo's year to year tuition (one committing $550 and two to $225), and the wonderful Claire Wyatt has raised a significant portion of the money it will take for her two years's tuition year up-front payment ($2,200 total). Thank you so much! 

If you are interested in sponsoring Pendo or any of next year's children, please get in touch with us!

Blessings

An example of the unwrapping phenomenon at work -
I feel sorry for whoever will change Miriam's diaper! This picture
was taken today at the orphanage - thanks Amy!

Maureeni cuddling with
Emily in her nappy

Today I arrived home to a HUGE package in the hall - and I opened it up to find it stuffed to the brim with incredible, super high quality nappy wraps (their great Snug Wraps line) and organic baby wash, all donated Liz, John, and the team at Real Nappies! Real Nappies is a fantastic New Zealand company that encourages modern, responsible cloth diapering. At the orphanage, we are constantly struggling with nappies that have simply fallen apart - they are generally not particularly high quality to start with, and then they are used and washed and re-used to within an inch of their lives! The outer wraps are constantly falling open and leaving the nappies to unravel... leading to predictable unpleasantness, and even more work for the mamas washing more clothes. These nappies will make a huge difference in the day to day lives of the kids AND the mamas, which is what we're all about!

We might hold off on
this advanced Kozy
technique for a few
weeks!

We also have two Kozy Carrier slings and fantastic Kiddy Kozies in the mail from Kristi at Kozy Carriers - these high quality slings will make it easier for mamas and volunteers to wear the babies while they go about their chores. Babywearing is widely acknowledged to be one of the best ways to stimulate development, which is crucial given how big of a problem developmental delays always are in an orphanage setting. As you can see from Andrea's photo below, the kids already LOVE to tie their "babies" onto their backs and pretend to be mamas - they will be incredibly excited to have mini versions of the mamas' slings to practice with! A huge thank you also goes out to Anna Black for helping to connect us with Kozy Carriers - and for her amazing work helping us to analyze the kids' progress and develop low budget developmentally stimulating activities for the babies. We are profoundly grateful.

Little daddy Andrea with his "baby"

Another thank you goes out to Rebecca Woolf of Girls Gone Child (AGAIN!) for her care package including some preemie formula that she (thankfully) didn't need for her own gorgeous twins. As you can see from the photo of Daoudi taken today, he will still need some extra TLC by the time we get there in December - and this type of donation can make the difference between life and death for another child like him. Rebecca, Molly, and Tracey are also helping us out with some Christmas gifts for the kids - because we're passionate about giving our kids not just enough to survive, but a full, happy, and healthy childhood.

One more way to be a part of that is to buy a holiday gift through Elemental Threads, a gorgeous handmade design-your-own handbag company. Just enter code "TheSmallThings" at checkout to have 25% of your purchase sent to the Nkoaranga kids as a charitable donation. It's a great way to take a gift that's already fantastic and make it that much more special. Orders must be in by 11/15 to guarantee delivery for the holidays! Alternatively, please also keep the option of gift donations in mind as you plan your gifts. Your loved one will receive a beautiful card letting them know that you were thinking of them.

Little Daoudi this morning

As you know, we're a small organization, run completely by volunteers. Seeing people from all over the world come together to help our kids confirms my faith in humanity daily. Thank you for being part of that, and, as always, for caring about our kids.

Thinking Small to Think Big

Unless you've managed to hide under a a rock for the last week (and if so, kudos to getting internet under your rock!), then you probably know that the world population hit 7 billion. That's some terrifying stuff, if you ask me - and I adore kids! But I think everyone can agree that there are some serious issues with exponentially increasing population growth, both in terms of our ability to care for the needy, and in terms of the earth's ultimate carrying capacity. At the end of the day, neither of these are unlimited - and if we want happy, healthy lives for the children who are being born, population growth is a serious concern. 

That said, population growth as an abstract concern will never, and should never, change the way we see living, breathing children. Every orphaned child, every child period, deserves to grow and thrive, and our mission and passion here at The Small Things continues to be to make that happen. 

Reziki - we will never stop 
missing you, little man. 

Still, there was a part of me that was worried about reconciling the two. I knew that the kids would always come first, that I would never be able to accept loss of an infant's life as anything other than an absolute evil, no matter how bad population issues got. I worried that that made me a hypocrite - a label I would have accepted a million times before shifting my position.

Then I stumbled across Hans Rosling's TED talks on population growth, and more importantly, this video in which he looks at the specific interactions between child mortality and family size. It's a very quick video but amazingly intuitive - and he talks about Tanzania specifically, which I always love to see!

Hans Rosling Breaks Down the Impact of Child Mortality on Population Growth  - and a slightly different, 10 minute version here - "Child survival is the new green"

As someone studying development, I've understood for a while that poverty alleviation can help to counteract population growth, in that as median income goes up, average family size tends to go down. I originally understood this primarily in terms of education, especially for women - higher education tends to lead people to delay having children until later, and choose to have fewer. Still, it took this video for me to really understand the effects that reducing child mortality specifically has on population growth. And now that I think of it that way, I feel stupid for never recognizing it before - the hallmark of a great piece of educational media! 

The truth is, I would have cheered as that blue dot plunged on the child mortality index, even if average family size had been shooting up. I know this about myself - I recognize that my feeling for individuals will always trump abstract principles, and I wouldn't have it any other way. But what a blessing, to know that sometimes you don't have to choose - that doing good on one axis can help create positive change on another. 

We all do the small things that we can, and the big picture will come together, with or without us seeing it. 

These smiles will never be anything but a blessing. 

Buying gifts for the holidays or donating to charity doesn't have to be a zero-sum game, either - through our partnership with Elemental Threads, an amazing design-your-own handcrafted handbag company, you can enter code "TheSmallThings" at checkout and have 25% of your purchase donated to the Nkoaranga kids. Please also consider making a gift to The Small Things in honor of your loved one - they'll receive a beautiful card letting them know that you were thinking of them. Thanks for reading and for caring about our kids! 

Frozen moment

This is a completely sappy, personal, emotional post, so if that's not your thing, please feel free to skip this and check out the other pages, or come back in a few days for something more rational! 

I am only thirty seven days away from seeing the kids again - and I couldn't be more excited, but in a way it's getting harder as the wait gets shorter, because I can almost taste it. It has been a long and wonderful few months, during which we've made huge progress in our fundraising, and I know we're going to be able to do amazing things for the orphanage when we return. In the meantime, though, I'm struggling with being so far away - and I'm already dreading having to leave them again. 

Some nights when I'm really struggling, I write little scraps of things that Zawadi might read someday, hopefully from the far side of a successful adoption. It actually started during the first few weeks I knew her, when she was very, very sick with pneumonia. They're just moments caught on paper, but I like to think that she might know someday how much I miss her. Missing her so badly usually makes me think of her birth mother - of how much I wish she could see what an incredible child her daughter is becoming. This piece was written about a day just before I left. 

 That day, I paused, rested,

curled up with you on the concrete floor.

Tried to memorize your every feature

the music as you dissolved into giggles.

I held the terrible weight

of knowing I, too, would leave -

as you, blissfully ignorant, diaper clad

nestled your tiny body up to mine

cradled between my knees and heart.

Your mother would have been so proud

Delighted in your chubby thighs,

your curiosity, your smile,

even your reticence,

your armor.

I do.

It's not much of anything, but it helps me to feel connected, to be creating something for her future. I have much more to tell about fundraising progress, the holidays, mamas, the skydive, nappies, and slings - but tonight all I could think about was how much I missed my girl, and so that's what I had to write about! Come back in a few days and I'll have something more substantial and less personal up here, I promise!